“Today I will overcome all my fears. I will look them straight in the face. I will do what I want, when I want, how I want. I will not obey the rules. No rules whatsoever. And I will be free.”
That is what I lived by three years ago. Those are the words that got me where I am today. Yeah, loneliness is a killer. It drains the very essence of your soul. It leaves you feeling empty. So empty that all you can do is stare at the cold sealing. You don’t talk, you don’t move, you don’t think, you just stare. Believe me, three years of loneliness is a long time for someone like me. And I still have two to go. But I probably deserve it after what I did. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, now is it? What should I be talking about? Myself, I guess.
My name is Michael. I was born 22 years ago in a small town called… What was it called again? I can’t remember. I’m not good at remembering things, especially not about myself. I don’t like myself much. Maybe that’s why I joined Jimmy’s gang when I was 18. They made me feel strong and powerful and in control. Well, its because of that feeling that I am sitting here today. I sit alone sometimes and think about how wrong it all was.
If only I didn’t join up with them. If only we didn’t go to that house in the middle of the night. If only they didn’t wake up. If only I didn’t pull that trigger…
I stayed up many nights, telling myself that it will be all right. That those people probably already forgot about me. But I know its not true. It could never be true. If someone killed my boy like that, right in front of my eyes, I would…
I don’t know what I would do. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. It all happened so fast. I was so scared. I was just so scared…
This place isn’t so bad. The food, well, it keeps me alive. But that’s exactly the problem. My shrink says its my childhood that’s catching up with me now, but I know that’s not what it is. It’s the one thing that I cannot escape from. The one lock I cannot pick. It haunts me every night with what I have done. Native Indians call it: “The ghost that should not be named.”
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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