You have ruined me for other men:
It is two years later and I am still
as empty and lost as the last day
I still search for your face even though
another lover sometimes lies beside me.
My dreams are still haunted by you
(I still taste your last kiss)
Beneath this ever changing surface
I long for the soft rain that brought you to me.
This king size bed now consumes me:
I rather love the ruffled sheets hollow folds
(I recently learned bed lice can’t live in these conditions)
It’s like lovers that just stepped out of passion.
My bed is now only made on days that the maid comes in
to save me from my so-called life.
I like the window that leads my eyes outside
to the garden you laid out so delicately.
The morning glories have over grown this planned event
Tuscan round rose trees all grew out of shape
(nothing is organized anymore)
It is as wild as my heart.
that will never love with the full measure again
it is as wild as someone always running from their past.
This self destructions brings forth new life
It is the waist land between my reasoning.
I no longer take the dogs for walks
and I don’t plan any long road trips.
Beneath my house foundations lies an old wooden floor
the lovely steel ceilings has been knocked down
the pebble road that lead you to my door
overgrown with ivy leaves.
This forest keeps me save
as it keeps everyone else out
Within it no questions is asked
no empty demands are made
within it I don’t have to change
to become exactly what you want
and then find that is not what you love.
I find that all these changes has made me
a people pleaser, it has tilted the very foundation
that guarded my survivor instinct.
I no longer laugh or play anymore
(tickled till your eyes cry with tiny lines)
It has consumed my basic needs
it has driven me into meaningless relationships
I vow to never reveal whole truth ever again
since it’s the weapon that destructs you at the end.
To never be the one that is used for boarding and gain
never be as vulnerable that your whole life collapse
by the mere mentioning of his name.
I vow to just find my soul purpose again
and never to be driven by loneliness
but to embrace it and hold it close
to thrive within solitude
till the time for me is ripe
and the love is ready to spill
without relapses into the past
without playing the measuring game
(and to make a real effort to love roses again)
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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