I always pat myself on the back because I am so technologically up to date. Well mostly… the other day my friend’s thirteen-year-old son taught me about MP3 players, and I also know that it is similar to an iPod. But I still have a lot to learn about Wii, what the hell is that anyway? At first I thought it had something to do with the Beijing Olympic Games, sort of like, “Wii are the champions of the world!” but now my daughter tells me it’s a sort of video game console. Oh, okay if you say so. Well I am familiar with computers, the Internet, email, cell phones and all the other jazz, so I guess I’m not that backward.
I have to laugh because technology, my friend, is as easy as pie compared to the new stuff one has to learn about when it comes to babies! In my day a nappy was a nappy and a teat was a teat!
I spent the last three months looking after my little granddaughter Sonja and I can honestly tell you that at first I was very confused. Disposable nappies are made to absorb wee-wee and to keep baby dry and happy. They come with sticky things on the side that are used to fasten the nappy. Try as I might the damn thing wouldn’t stick, so I used masking tape. Later when my daughter came to fetch baby she took one look at this and burst out laughing. “The nappies have cute pictures on them and they should be towards the front.” She giggled. “Well nobody told me!” I replied indignantly, “if they want the pictures at the front of the bum then the manufacturer should have included instructions!”
When it came to giving her bottle I was even more confused. These new bottles come with an orthodontic teat with extra wide lip support, which helps to minimise colic caused by harmful swallowing of air! Harmful swallowing of air, my backside! This teat comes with a little hole (a vent) at the base of the teat and this hole has to be under the baby’s nose. This is because the hole where the milk comes out is then facing upwards. If the vent is facing downwards that means that the hole is also facing downwards and the milk flows out too fast thus drowning baby while she is drinking. I ask myself, what is more harmful, swallowing air or drowning in milk? Eventually Sonja soon realised that my inexperience could lead to her demise and turned her bottle around by herself. This is known as survival!
Car seats are my Nemesis! Try as I might, I cannot get the safety belt around it the way my daughter can. No problem to me I go to the garage and fetch some cable-ties and voila the seat is fastened. I always knew I would find some good use for cable-ties!
Other than those small hiccups Sonja and I had a whale of a time! We laughed, sang songs and played a lot. Needless to say she started talking as loudly as I do, and her first words were “eina, eina!” because that was what I would say every time I bent down to pick her up off the ground. At my age backache is a common occurrence, you know!
I leave you with this last thought…
“Women over fifty don’t have babies because they would put them down somewhere and then forget where they left them.”
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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