I have collected several fat rolls this winter and now I’m waging war on them! Accumulating fat rolls is very easy all you have to do is eat. On the other hand, getting rid of them is extremely difficult. Fat rolls are very stubborn and once they have found their way onto your body they tend to overstay their welcome.
I have an exercise machine that vibrates while you stand on it and it will supposedly help you to get rid of the rolls. The more I vibrate the more the rolls wobble in rhythm with the rest of my body. It still hasn’t worked.
I sat my fat rolls down and gave them a good talking to. I told them that they were not welcome. Summer is approaching and they should find some skinny person to latch on to. I told them that they were very unwelcome and that their days were numbered.
I pissed my fat rolls off because the other day I went shopping and while I was looking the other way my fat rolls threw some chocolates and some yummy looking brandy snap biscuits into my trolley.
“Lard! Bloody friends of blubber and obesity!” I cursed and I felt them give a series of quivering giggles as I tasted a biscuit.
That’s not all! The fat rolls are not allowing me to fit comfortably in my clothes anymore either. When after some effort I do get my jeans on I can hardly breathe and have to undo my button in case I die. The fat rolls love it when that happens and as I walk I can feel them giggling happily as they bounce up and down.
Fat rolls are very sly things they sneak up on you and voila! What wasn’t there the day before has suddenly latched onto your body and boy do they stick!
We are supposed to love our bodies so I try but when I see all the skinny people on TV I become so pissed off and screech at the fat rolls: “I hate you! You’re gross and make me look terrible!”
I will not give up! I will persevere and the fat rolls will disappear (hopefully in this lifetime). In fact I think I will go for a walk as soon as I have finished this chocolate. Damn! How did this chocolate get into my mouth?
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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