"You're going to leave me, aren't you?" I wailed at Hubby who was sitting in the lounge. Seeing the puzzled expression on his face as he replied, "what have I done now?" I burst into fits of tearful laughter.
You see I have a way of attracting strange people and objects like a fridge attracts a magnet. This outburst happened after I was petting our small dog (who is very hairy by the way) and when I looked at myself in the mirror, the face of a wet sweaty Teddy Bear looked back at me! My dogs fur was stuck to my face and that was when I began to wail. What else is a sane middle-aged woman expected to do?
The other night at Boom-Boom's thirtieth birthday party I was happily dancing with my granddaughter in my arms when son-in-law came up to me and whispered, "you're shining."
I smiled, "thanks"."
"No, you are really shining!" he replied, "go and have a look."
In the ladies bathroom mirror in the mirror was a glittering red Christmas bauble! My face magnet had once again attracted something and this time it was glitter!
This is nothing compared to the time that I was throwing topsoil on the lawn and most of it landed on my face. Hubby smiled as he snapped a photo of me with his cell phone. Handy little things hey, cell phones? Well it was only when I threatened him within an inch of his life by telling him that I would get even when he was asleep that he stopped using it as the phones wallpaper.
Is it hot or what? That is the question I seem to ask everyone I come across. I'm hot! No, not sexy hot, I am boiling hot; I'm so hot that I'm melting! I am sweating like a fat person wearing Lycra! It's so hot that I'm sure all the hens are laying hardboiled eggs.
If only my make up would stick to my face like that I would be the best looking sweaty woman in the world! Ah well, as they say, blessed is the woman that can laugh at herself, for she shall never cease to be amused. This is absolutely true, especially to me because I think that I often laugh for fear of crying!
My house suffers from a similar dilemma it attracts dirt, especially over the holiday period when the domestic is on vacation. Well I have that problem in control because I know some tips for quick and non-strenuous cleaning.
1. I simply gather all the junk that has been strewn around the house (by yours truly of course) and carry it to the nearest unused cupboard.
2. I dip my fingers in strong household detergent and dab the corners of my furniture with it. Smells good even if it¡¦s not 100% clean, so who will care?
3. Sitting on a dining room chair I eyeball the kitchen floor to find all the visible crumbs, sweet papers and other food bits lying around. Keeping my focus I quickly vacuum them up. Voila! It's good and clean and fresh, tra la la.
4. If all this fails then I tell my visitors that they should have visited me last week because my house was clean then!
Let me tell you this very appropriate joke:
The husband who was sitting on the sofa yelled to his wife. "Honey, can we try a new position tonight?"
Her reply was, "Good idea, I'll sit on the sofa and play with the remote and you can come and stand at the ironing board."
By the way I actually signed in today to wish all my readers a very happy and prosperous 2008. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year Resolutions!
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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