'Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
(Ephesians 5:22-33, KJV)
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (Colossians 3:18-19, KJV)
"Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word, be won by the conversation (behaviour) of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (sudden calamity) likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." ( 1 Peter 3: 1-7, KJV)
The Lord is setting two definite guidelines for a godly marriage: 'Wives, submit to your own husbands', and 'Husbands, love your wives.' But submission in this world can so easily be exploited and seen as an opportunity for abuse. And love in selfish human hands will very quickly become lust. Therefore God in his grace gave us a clear and indisputable example to measure ourselves to in marriage: The relationship between Christ and his church. Not that any husband or man is without fault or sin, like Christ is, but men are to strife to love their wives as Christ loves his church: It is a sacrificial love, which is prepared to willingly give itself for the other. Christ did indeed give his life for his church. Without Christ giving himself He would not have had a church. The church's entire existence is built on his sacrifice for us. Likewise, without a husband's willingness to give himself in love to his wife, there can't be a marriage in the true sense of the word. A husband, who clings to personal ambitions and pleasures which are not to the benefit of his wife and the children that she had brought to life for him, is not acting in accordance to Christ's example. Likewise does a man who is emotionally or physically unfaithful to his wife. Instead, a husband must find his pleasure and fulfilment in his marriage and home. His first priority as husband must be to cherish, nourish and protect his wife and children with everything he has - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually - last, but not the least.
As far as the church is willing to submit to Christ, so far will He be there to support the church to be his church. Without submitting to the authority of Christ, the church has no right of existence. Without the church acknowledging the authority of Christ and submitting to it, there can't be a true church. Likewise, there can't be a marriage in the true sense of the word if a wife does not submit to her own husband. The submission of a wife empowers her husband to be what he must be - to her benefit. Christ can't be the head of a church which is self justified. By not acknowledging the authority of Christ over them, they are disqualifying themselves to be a church, and are, thus, just playing church. A wife who cannot submit to the authority of her husband is just playing married - there will never be a true marriage relationship, unless she repents and willingly submits. - Just to find that her satisfaction and justification and shelter is in her husband and not in herself.
Without a husband's sacrificial love for his wife on the one hand, and a wife's willing submission to her husband on the other, there can't be true unity (one-ness). The one empowers the other to be what he/she is supposed to be and in that both find fulfilment. That is God's glorious way for marriage. With the sad state of our homes and the skyrocketing divorce rate in mind, it is clear that there has gone something seriously wrong in our marriage relationships. The reason for that will obviously directly or indirectly be found in mankinds shifting of these clear lines God had drawn for marriage, in his sovereign wisdom. The materialistic attitude of modern man causes him to
seek benefit for himself in everything - even his marriage. People get married because they think they will get something out of it for themselves. And when they don't profit by it after a while, they are inclined to think that marriage did not work for them. The next ' logic' step is to get a divorce. We think divorce is the solution for the marriage problem - as getting out of it, will be the solution for a sour business relationship. But because marriage is not materialistic, but a godly institution, divorce is not the solution - it is the actual problem. Marriage was meant by God 'till death us part'. It is a trust relationship between husband and wife to represent and demonstrate God's indissoluble commitment to his church. That is why remarriage is not allowed by God, unless one of the parties has passed away. Being created in God's image, we are to show forth God's absolute faithfulness in our marriage relationships. But instead all of creation comes to learn form us, we must now go to the wild goose to learn true faithfulness between husband and wife: With these game birds (they are not even tamed) male and female go into a lifelong commitment to each other. And when one gets caught or dies for some or other reason, the other one remains single for the rest of his/her life. It was actually found that the left-behind partner grieves him/herself to death, too.
Marriage is not a materialistic win-win situation: Unless it is a loose-loose situation, it will never work. Christ lost his life by his divine love for man to gain a church. And unless you crucify your own will - to die to self - in willing submission to Christ as your head, you cannot become a true member of Christ's Church. Likewise a man must loose himself in love to his wife in order to be satisfied; and a wife must loose herself in submitting to her husband to receive fulfilment in marriage.
One more place where mankind is trying to shift God's boundaries for marriage is to be seen in our modern day humanistic solution for the abuse of women and children. If you are one of those who think that the Bible is discriminating against women and supporting the idea of male dominance over the female, you are having it very wrong. Marriage is not a licence for the male to exploit and abuse the female he had caught for himself. That is the carnal interpretation of God's order for marriage. God's command to a husband is not to keep his wife in submission; - it's to love her and to honour her as the weaker vessel - to live in wisdom (sensibly) together with her in marriage. God in his supreme wisdom did not make a little mistake to create the woman 'the weaker vessel! It was for the sake of peace and order in marriage that God planned it this way: One party has to have the last say - and it is not supposed to be the wife - if you wondered. Humanists' attempt to put man and woman equally on the same level, will only unchain the most severe and cruel abuse ever heard of in human existence. Every marriage will degenerate into a war zone. This human right is the greatest wrong mankind has ever done to himself. It is an ingenious design straight out of hell - a desperate attempt of Satan - to destroy the godly institution of marriage for ever. Do you now understand why strong, happy marriages and godly homes are so important? They are our strongholds in these latter days' spiritual struggle between light and darkness, before Jesus will come to seize his bride away, to take her home with Him. The marriage relationship is still a clear and dear testimony of Jesus' involvement with his church, even in these dark times - in which the world is being frantically prepared to accept the rule of the Antichrist. Is your marriage contributing or destroying Christ's testimony? Is your relationship with your marriage partner clearly showing forth Jesus and his Church to the world, and is it a personification of the living hope, which is in Christ, to the children of God?
If not, please know that divorce will only complicate matters. Rather get back to the basics for your marriage: Husband, start to love your wife because God is asking it of you - even if you don't feel like it: she needs not deserve it. And wife, start to submit yourself to your husband and honour him as the head God has put over you - even if you don't feel like it at all. He may not deserve it, either.
Deserving the love you receive, or deserving your respect, is not an issue in the relationship we represent: The relationship between Christ and his Church is based on mercy, grace and sacrificial
love. If you are still standing in justification on your partner's faults, you have missed the point. Marriage represents a relationship in which the asking and accepting of forgiveness is actively practiced on a daily base. Everyone is just concerned about his own conscience - to keep that clear. What the other one does, is none of your business. That is between him/her and the Lord. You may pray for him/her or warn and help, but you cannot find justification for your own short-comings in his/her mistakes. His/her mistakes can't be your justification not to love or not to submit, either. Husbands, between you and me, you need to take initiative, as Jesus did: He loved us while we were still his enemies, full of lust, self justice and sin. If you reckon it to be humanly impossible to love someone who opposes and hates you, plead Jesus to change your heart and to show you how to sacrifice yourself in love to your wife even if she despises you. I guess your first instruction will be to get on your knees before your wife to ask for her forgiveness for every wrong you did to her in your marriage and in your home. First get yourself sorted out with Christ, before you try and represent Him in your role as husband.
Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. Even if your husband is not worth one motion of respect of anybody, you must still submit for Jesus' sake. If you do it for Him, you will surely be rewarded for it by Him, too. "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith…" (Hebrews 12:2) Don't hesitate, either, to plead your husband's forgiveness when you have wronged him.
We are nowadays so concerned about our rights, that we are often inclined to forget about our wrongs. Standing on our rights, will make everything wrong in marriage. But confessing our wrongs can make many things right in the relationship between husband and wife.
May God give you a clear vision of his glorious way for your marriage. The Way is Christ - Christ in his love relationship with his bride, the Church.
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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