Module 3: Testimonies & Quotes
Goals for Module 3:
1. Draw from other people’s experiences, learn from their mistakes, apply what is good and disregard what is bad. Become wise. There will always come something good, even from the biggest mistakes you have ever made.
2. The quotes offer powerful inserts of wisdom and knowledge mixed with love and compassion. The crux of what these famous and regular people experienced in life regarding being parents and leaders.
3. The testimonies are in-depth revelations of personal experiences relating to father-son relationships and manager-leadership scenarios, which offer insight and reflection.
Objectives for Module 3:
1. Listen to fathers’ hearts. Be slow to speak and fast to listen. Take to heart what parents and children have grasped as essential to become better and wiser leaders. These writings are not based on religion, it is part of life, formulated by living, with love flowing, driving the outcome.
2. Become wise. Wisdom outlasts riches. All the quotes and testimonies are full of scriptures that sustain and support the truth. In the end, only the truth will set you free.
3. Implement in your life principles that work in other people’s lives. Change, change and change some more. Be free.
Module 3a:Testimonies
David Hercules Pienaar
Goals:
1. I want to understand myself better.
2. I want to learn out of my mistakes.
3. I want to change.
Objectives:
1. Reflect.
2. Understand.
3. Change.
But this has been my heart’s desire as far back as I can remember: to have someone to really lead, help and manage me! The Spirit of God instructed me to compile this book, to find answers and to help myself and others to become leader managers (not damagers) and to become real spiritual leaders, fathers and sons!
I wasn't brought up understanding the father-son relationship. I grew up in a wonderful Christian home. My father was the youth-leader in various AFM churches and he led praise and worship in the church services. I literally grew up under the church pews, and I recall giving my life to the Lord even before I was five years old, but the moment I got my own understanding, my father and I were almost always in disagreement. Maybe it was because we were so much alike, I don't know?
I remember him as a good father, especially in my toddler and pre-teen years; he was the best dad that any child could have. He loved children and children always loved him. But then I grew up, when I was a teenager I challenged his ways and we clashed, because he wasn't a spiritual father to me. He was jealous and overworked and not in control of his finances. Once I became independent from him, he always said:”He's got his mother's brains, because I've still got all of mine.”
We reconciled at the end of his life on earth. In his last month my mom and I watched over him as if he was a baby. He had a stomach ulcer that turned into cancer. The doctors opened him up, but the cancer was too far spread, and he came home, because he didn't want to die in a hospital. We had a time of grace together. He passed away peacefully and I know that I shall see him in heaven one day!
At this stage of my life I can only testify of a three real leaders I have ever met! It is hard to find a constant, true and good leader, teacher, coach, mentor, manager, spiritual leader or spiritual father! The thing is that very few of all the managers with whom I’ve been involved with, ever had the unconditional love or communication skills to really connect with me!
I have been walking a road with my pastor for the last 4 years, Andries Mulder from Victory Life Family Church in Kriel, Mpumulanga, and right at the start of our relationship, he said to me that if he could not be my friend, he doesn’t want to be my pastor. That floored me, the realization that he is not stuck-up with titles, he has a doctorate degree and is studying further, but he is fisrt my friend, before anything else. He pertinently stated to me that he wants to build relationship with me and my wife, and that anything else would just flow from that relationship! He is real, he says how he feels and he treats everyone with respect and understanding which comes from godly wisdom.
I have never spent excessive time with him and I mostly see him once a week that is at church. But I know I can call on him any time, any day and he will be there for me!
Actually this is what God wants for us as well, he wants to be our friend and he wants us to be real with Him, like he was with Adam and Eve, spending time and just chatting with them, building relationship. That’s why after satan, the originator of sin, caught Adam-them to fall for his deception, God the Father sent Jesus Christ his son to die for us, to reclaim His relationship with us, but it is our choice to do so, because He doesn’t force us to do anything.
My current manager at Barloworld Equipment Central Service Training in Isando, Hannes Wilke, is also a good leader and therefore a manager and not a damager. I know him for less than a year, but in this short period I have found him to be an excellent communicator whom can adapt to whoever he is dealing with. He can direct, coach, support and delegate, thus can he utilize leadership principles to the extent of leading a team of people that will follow him blindly, because they know he will look out for them, not only emotionally, but physically and spiritually.
The last person that falls into the great leader category for me is my mom. Automatically I choose to obey and honor her because of our paternal bond, but she is the only person that has ever had the commitment to stand by me, communicate with me and love me unconditionally! I would have to write a separate book about this woman of God to justify her impact upon my life, but I want to focus on the person I have to become and all the unanswered questions relating to the topic of this book. My desire is to change every day to be a true leader!
Therefor I have three people that I can trust as leaders and help to manage me….
Have you ever researched yourself? Do you know yourself? What do you like and dislike? As part of a counseling course I had to ask these questions to myself! Where do I come from? What are my passions?
I know above all else that I am saved through God my Fathers’ grace and love, because I accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior every day, repenting of sin and crucifying my flesh and soul! I have been in-filled by the Holy Spirit whom is helping me to overcome the world every day; liberating me and changing me to become like Christ and to reach my destiny and the full potential of my Christianity and my names; I am God’s beloved, joyful rich man!
The meaning of my names gives me my first answers of who I am! I believe my names have very distinct results in the spiritual realm. Everything in the natural has a result in the spirit...I inherited my first name from my father: David John Pienaar. My second name, Hercules, I got from my grandfather, Hercules Visagie, because I was the first grandson born on both sides of my parents' families. Of course my surname, Pienaar, comes from my father's father, Hennie (Hendrik, Nicholas Christoffel) Pienaar, which is a French name derived from the word pinardt:
- David means God's beloved
- Hercules means joyful and strong man
- Pienaar means rich or the origin of a red wine
My Self Awareness in Context [MBTI] personality test confirms that I have an ESFJ (Extravert Sensing Feeling Judging) Profile. I grew up as an introvert, but God turned me into an extrovert!
My family background shaped me: I grew up as an only child in mining communities with a father and mother that had their own businesses and were spiritual leaders in the AFM, but they were very busy and not really socially or sport inclined, I basically kept myself occupied with studies, reading, computers and the church. I was a nerd, a loner and labeled as: “the Christian.”On top of all this I was labeled as being fat, because I was always the biggest kid in my class. All of this caused me to climb into a shell and I really was not a people’s person.
I came to hate any kind of competition, basically because it usually goes hand in hand with verbal abuse. I developed INTROJECTION and ISOLATION as defense mechanisms, being shy and alone.
But God set me free and I learned the hard way that the degree of anything you experience does not depend on how many people reach out to you, it depends on how many people you reach out to! You are ultimately responsible for the relationships in your life, no one else!
Do these factors always present a problem to me, does it make me negative towards people and does it cause me to feel hurt and rejected? Answer: Yes, oh yes!
It is like your salvation, you have to choose daily whom you will serve and what you are going to do!
God made all of us with a will to choose, this is ultimately where your salvation lies and how your response to life happens: your daily choices create the path that you are going to make!
Remember, the only constant for man is to change! If you do choose not to change, you basically die, because everything else always changes. You are never too old to learn something new and to change accordingly!
I have changed from being a loner, an only child, a nerd and an introvert; to being a peoples’ person, a family man, a wise man and an extrovert!
Today I am a generous entertainer. I enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and am liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes. I enjoy being in charge. I see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. I bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority and willingly provide service and expect the same from others. I lead by example and enjoy working with my hands and using my brainpower to study!
But, I am easily wounded and when wounded my emotions will not be contained. By nature I “wear my heart on my sleeves”, often exuding warmth and bonhomie (good natured friendliness), but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of my soul. I have channeled these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage.
In Matric my English Teacher enrolled me into the yearly regional Arts & Culture Festival in the poetry division, I won the Major Festival Award with this once-off performance because it was reflecting the broken relationship I had with my dad with which I constantly clashed.
I literally grew up under the church pews, and I recall giving my life to the Lord even before I was five years old. The basis of my life was solid, because I developed trust with hope in my prenatal experience and baby years, I knew autonomy which developed my will-power, I received loads of initiative that gave me purpose in my toddler years, I was industrious over inferiority which made me competent in my primary school stages for I was really becoming very clever, but the moment I got my own understanding, my father and I were almost always in disagreement.
It caused turmoil in my identity over role diffusion from which I had to develop reliability into adolescence!
Now I know why I always confronted my father! Strong, contradictory forces consume me, the sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing ‘mothering’ drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate actions. I am often at odds with myself, often when decisions must be made, especially ones involving the risk of conflict; there ensues an in-house wrestling match between black-and-white values in my life. I needed my dad to be clear-cut and victorious in my me life, a true spiritual father, but he was overtaken by stress and jealousy.
I wanted to become a pastor or an architect, but my parents’ finances didn’t allow me to do either of the two. After matric I went straight to the army, clashing face first into the wall of the reality of the world out there! I became a man? Discovering the “joys” of the world, but never participating, it made me more confused and bewildered, but God really protected me!
I have never been drunk in my life, I have never smoked or used drugs, and my wife is the first woman I ever had sex with! Praise God! He has kept me from so much danger, but I got a problem with lust, satisfying myself sexually and I became addicted to pornography! I would repent fervently, abstain for a few days, weeks, even months, but always get floored by something I saw (a movie, an advertisement or a book)!
I repressed it and suppressed, but only when I did what the word of God says I should do, I was released from this bondage of sin! 1 John 1:9 says, “If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse s from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought and action]”.
Only when I could confess and freely admit this bondage God, to my leadership and even to my friends and strangers, did I receive release! At first it was a second to second, then minute to minute, hour to hour, eventually day to day battle to change my mind, to allow the Spirit of God to touch my heart and to let my spirit take control over my soul and my body’s feelings, emotions and cravings of the flesh. Today my sexual activities is totally concentrated on my wife with victory over past sex liaisons/fantasies.
But this I must stress again, like your salvation, you have to choose daily to be victorious over the enemies’ attacks. You have to put on the full amour of God, but especially the helmet of salvation that protects your mind of stinking thinking and negative, wrong thoughts that leads you into temptation!
I have mostly worked for damagers, men that had no intentions to be real managers to me! They were just doing their job, using me and every other employee in the process to make their work easier for their own gain.
There is an enormous gap, a bridge of division, between workers and their leaders in the real world! The damagers operate out of a cloud of ruling authority and the workers are considered as ants that have to have one purpose; to serve them. The workers have to be prepared to lay down their lives for the goals and visions of the damagers. They have to serve faithfully without rebellion and understanding, because they are not part of the superior race of the damagers!
My very first job was as trainee site manager for Genrec Construction in Wadeville, Germiston. I worked for six months in the offices and on the sites and then for the other six months of the year attended Wits Technicon in Doornfontein, studying Mechanical Engineering for a period of five years. I could never wait to go to Tech, because I hated every moment being in the offices or on the sites, having to do the skiwwie work of my damagers. Uncle Basie Geldenhuys was the only one who had the decency to handle me like a man, but he was about to retire and did not take the time to invest in any relationships at that stage of his life, he just wanted to get out of the rat-race of being a leader.
The list just goes on and on; everywhere I worked, I worked for damagers, men and women who act as managers, but because they are not leaders, they are damagers.
My first run at Barloworld Handling was a roller-coaster ride that took me to the highest highs and the lowest lows imaginable! For almost three years I spent at least three weeks out of every month in what we call the ZAMM-territories. Selling and doing training for HYSTER forklifts in Angola, Namibia, Zambia, Malawi, Botswana, Zimbabwe and Mocambique. My MD in the end was Godfried Heydenrich, with wich I had a great relationship, steadily building up in trust to the point were I as a area sales representative was included in managers meetings and I even flew once with the company jet to Mocambique with some managers. But my direct manager, Rory Lord, was a small Englishman which had no repore for me. Even in my final interview he said to me that ordinary he would not choose to work with me, but seeing that I would be out of his hair, he would tolerate me. I was hard-up for a good job, otherwise I would not have chosen to work for this damager. To make a long story short, after two years he had me fired, but I appealed and they had to re-appoint me. Unfortunately everything was now unbearable, Rory Lord left Barloworld’s employ before me, but my relationship with Godfried was broken and my new manager, Rudolph Briendenhann, was given instructions to get rid of me! I tried my very best to be transferred within Barloworld, but because I did not have my damagements’ blessings, I could not move an inch. Therefor I resigned after finding a training position at another company, but I could have been where I am presently with unbroken service and shares in the company if my damagers were just willing to be managers.
That is old water under the bridge, today I am back at Barloworld Equipment, with a good manager and I am determined to stay in Barloworld’s employ for the rest of my life, because as my first MD, Geoff Tucker, told me, my blood is now yellow! I have realized with a shock that there is no better company to work for in South Africa. I want to change people’s lives to empower them to be a better person in whatever position they are in, but more importantly I want myself and everyone else to become the best leader possible, and if we can follow our CEO, Peter Bulterman’s example, climb from being an artisan to the top management position in this company.
As I mentioned previously, I have always tried to find a spiritual father to guide me spiritually. But guess what? Even the spiritual leaders I served were mostly damagers! Why? Because they again can’t manage people, or must I say me! They were all men of God, men of discipline, men of faith, men of vision, but one track minded in these areas and not men of their word! You have to serve them and do it their way or no way at all, because if you did not do everything the way they wanted it, you were in rebellion and not part of their vision! There is a very thin line between judging and correction, I’ve always been judged and found too light for their liking!
The pastors in the AFM churches I’ve been in have always just been spiritual leaders from the pulpit, with no connection to the people down below. The only thing they did was that they preached and preached and preached and sometimes prayed, but they never managed me!
Then I served in charismatic bible based Christian churches, run on either the IFCC cell-group structures, the G12 disciple-based structures (It reminds me the kingdom of Camelot, where King Arthur ruled with the twelve knights of his round table, to prevent quarrels about superiority, and in battle they were inseparable. Their covenant to each other was: ‘Brother to brother, to honor and serve, in life and death!’), or combinations of the two. They have been ruled either by leadership discipline with no friendships, or with friendships with no structures, or family-orientated gain in mind. In these churches I have not found a true spiritual father that accepted me with unconditional love as a son! I could never communicate freely; I was seen either as a tread or seen as being rebellious.
As I stated previously: this has been my hearts’ desire for as long as I know: to have someone to really lead, help and manage me, to be a part of a circle
of friends that will help and sustain each other, to be a manager and not a damager, to be a spiritual leader, to be a pastor, evangelist and teacher! I always say:
‘God’s only constant for me is change!’
Today I am in a small town charismatic bible-based church with a pastor that is a father to me, a brother, but most importantly a friend!
I serve him and he serves me! He leads, but sometimes, he even follows my advice! We communicate freely, and I experience unconditional love with no end, no measure and unsurpassing forgiveness. It is a family, a spiritual household, filled with fathers and mothers with sons and daughters.
I am a song-writer, an entrepreneur, a teacher. I am a qualified Mechanical Engineer, with a Business Administration Degree and a Post Graduate Certificate in Innovation and Higher Education. I have various other course certificates, but am especially proud of my Rhema Bible School certificates! My dream is to do a doctorate in a specialized teaching/coaching/leadership direction and to qualify as an architect/designer before I am fifty years old! I want to write New York Times best seller books and be a renowed painter and sculpter with world-wide acclaim. Oh, but my greatest desire, is to have children of my own with my beautiful wife, Dorette, because I will be the proudest and best parent around.
I have overcome adversity and many obstacles to be where I am today through Gods’ grace and love! On the 21st of July 2001 I married Dorette, my beautiful wife and best friend. As a caretaker I sense danger all around and feel that the world is a dangerous place not to be trusted and therefore I serve excellently as a protector.
We have been through many crises and God is teaching us skills to be victorious in life! My physical health is the other main area where I have been under attack from the devil, but Jesus Christ is not only my Savior, He is my Healer as well, His joy is my strength.
My weaknesses are that sometimes I can be unemotional, unsympathetic, dominant, self-centered and one-track-minded. My strong points are that I am bold, innovative, goal-orientated, strong-willed, a natural leader, organizer and an optimist.
I have a loving and giving heart, my friendships will last forever, I am enthusiastic with an inexhaustible spirit that will endure, I make every day a special one, and I am never found to be wasting time. I am contented with the little joys in life, being joyful is one of my greatest traits. I keep my eyes on my goals, my manners are impeccable, people look up to me, I enjoy the time spent with family and friends, being happy is a way of life for me and I am secure in the knowledge that all will be provided for in Christ Jesus.
I am a good husband and family man, a teacher, singer, songwriter, musician, shepherd, spiritual son and father, a writer, engineer, a trainee-millionaire architect and above else, a good friend to whoever knows me.
Above all else I am becoming complete and my fulfillment is only found in loving God the Father, serving Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and experiencing the voice and help of the Holy Spirit from day to day to live my life to the fullest until He calls me to heaven! I AM FREE, THROUGH CHRIST IN ME!
Questions
Module 3a-D.H.Pienaar:
1. What do you like and dislike of this testimony?
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2. Reflect what info you can use to better your life and relationships.
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Please read further to assist you with your answers & reflections!
(*PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO SEND ME COMMENTS, BUT I WOULD ACTUALLY LOVE TO RECEIVE CONTRIBUTIONS IN THE FORM OF YOUR EXPERIENCES AND TESTIMONIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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