Question 4:
How do you measure the effectiveness of your communication as a manager? Why do damagers communicate only in one way, my way or the highway? Why do they more often damage than manage?
Answer 4:
Damagers only want to communicate in one way, either you do what they want, or you are history. They treat all employees as children, not sons, and come down on them like a ton of bricks with any conflict or they confess negative things over people openly or most probably behind their backs. Communication is a one-way process and there is only one measure of effectiveness, you do it my way!
Effective managers function through communication with their staff – they are able to reach agreements with them not only about their tasks, but also about the amount of direction and support they will need to accomplish these tasks, i.e. through motivation, listening, setting goals and handling conflict, etc. Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things. (Galatians 6:6), But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. (Hebrews 13:16 – both from King James)
The characteristics of a good communicator are:
- He knows that there are bound to be conflicts of interest, but he tries to reconcile these differences. And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby (Ephesians 2:16) And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven. (Colossians 1:20 – both King James)
- He attaches great value to achieving the best agreement (for him and the other party). He strives to achieve a real agreement; he does not enter the negotiation process expecting to encounter dissent. Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 18:19 – King James)
- He attaches great value to achieving mutual benefit; he is not out to benefit at the expense of the other party. He respects the worth of the other party as an equal. Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven. (Colossians 4:1 – King James)
- He strives to create trust between him and the other party. Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5 ), And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward (2 Corinthians 3:4 – both King James)
- He realizes the long-term importance of using the negotiation process as a basis for future interaction between him and the other party (therefore to build a constructive relationship). Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed. (1 Samuel 2:3 – King James)
- He looks for solutions that will benefit both parties and even tries to create these solutions himself. And they that have believing masters, let them not despise them, because they are brethren; but rather do them service, because they are faithful and beloved, partakers of the benefit. These things teach and exhort. (1 Timothy 6:2 – King James)
- He must be open and honest, i.e. he must be prepared to tell the other party about his needs and what he can offer. (The risk of this, of course, is that the other party may abuse this information. However, the advantage is that he will gain the trust of the other party through his openness and honesty).
But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience. (Luke 8:15), Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8 – both King James)
Successfulcommunication in leadership requires a creative approach and critical questions to reflect on the effectiveness. A spirit orientated leader will be flexible, able to diagnose people and situations according to the super-natural and not just the natural with dimensions of contract related commitments.
COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
o Questioning skills
Question-asking and information-gathering includes seven techniques for getting people to talk, keeping them talking, and clarifying what the have said:
The invitation to talk
Open-ended questions
Fact-seeking questions
The comprehensive question
Thought-provoking questions
Probing for specificity
Using encouragers
LISTENING SKILLS.
Unfortunately most managers, like most people, are poor listeners. They are not very good at paying attention (especially when they feel rushed, or they are distracted), keeping quiet (especially when they disagree, or have thoughts of their own), and patiently staying on the other person’s wavelength. We define listening as “helping another person to think aloud”. Being a good listener is absolutely essential if you want to be an effective problem solver, especially when the problems have to do with how you are getting along with other people, like employees.
o ¶Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1, K J)
o By listening to your employees you’ll show them how much you care for them. It is the single best way to meet your employee’s basic need to be treated with dignity and respect as a human being.
o You’ll show employees you are not just concerned with yourself. You are not selfish and self-absorbed.
o You’ll give employees the opportunity to fully express themselves and gain some new understanding or perspective.
o You’ll often find out why employees haven’t been performing well.
o You’ll find out things that will help make you a better manager.
o You’ll learn about organizational problems before they get out of hand.
o It motivates and involves employees.
o You’ll greatly increase the chances that employees will listen to you.
o Attending behavior is making eye contact, using good body language (body positioning, nodding, using your facial muscles, using your arms and upper body) and minimizing distractions.
Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed. (1 Samuel 2:3, King James)
o Reading back includes three techniques for proving that you’re trying to listen and demonstrating that you’ve correctly heard what employees are saying:
Reflecting feelings
Paraphrasing
Summarizing
o Presentation skills
Hear yourself as others hear you
“Attend” to people when you talk to them by using your eyes, arms and the rest of your body as tools to help get your message across.
Avoid “fuzzy speaking” by speaking clearly and not using confusing or ambiguous language
Avoid emotionally loaded expressions that lower an employee’s receptivity
Stop talking and start listening when the employee’s receptivity dips
Pay attention to pace and timing while you talk
Preview, deliver and summaries your messages
- To handle conflict and goals effectively you have to be SMART.
- SMART goals have to be set to resolve the zones of difference, conflict, i.e.:
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attainable
R – Relevant
T - Traceable
A manager has to choose the results he wants and what his people needs.
Good leadership always starts with solid specific written goals. Sit down with the person and decide, in no uncertain terms, what key-results he is to achieve by a certain date. Their goals should help you achieve your goals and should contribute to achievement of the company goals. Be sure their goals are stated in terms of results to be achieved, not activities to be performed. Goals that are challenging, but attainable, get the best performance. People do what gets measured. Behold, I have given him for a witness to the people, a leader and commander to the people. (Isaiah 55:4, King James)
o He has to identify behavior needed
It is important for people to know and understand their goals. But they cannot do a goal. They have to behave in ways that will lead to the achievement of a goal. So the next step is to identify the kinds of behavior most crucial to achieving a given goal. Try the following to identify the necessary behaviors:
• Review the goal
• Review the behavior of “MOTIVATION”
• Choose from the list kinds of behavior you feel are most crucial to achieving the goal. Rank them in order of importance and write them down.
• Ask those responsible for achieving the goal to do the same thing without having seen your choices.
• Meet and reach a joint agreement on what kinds of behavior are most important for successfully achieving this goal.
o He has to decide on the proper rewards
o He has to use the power of positive feedback:
Be specific
Be sincere
Deliver on the spot as soon as you see good behavior
Personalize it for the individual
Make it proportional to the importance of the behavior
Be concrete
o He has to dispense rewards, enjoy success and set new goals. He has to remember that he is not managing people, he is leading them.
o Motivate with solid solutions instead of quick fixes
o Motivate by recognition to reward risk taking instead of risk avoiding
o Motivate by giving time off to reward applied creativity instead of mindless conformity
o Motivate by giving a piece of the action to reward decisive action instead of paralysis by analysis
o Motivate by giving favorite work to reward smart work instead of busy work
o Motivate by giving advancement to reward simplification instead of needless complication
o Motivate freedom to reward quietly effective behavior instead of squeaking joints
o Motivate personal growth to reward quality work instead of fast work
o Motivate fun times to reward loyalty instead of turnover
o Motivate prizes to reward working together instead of working against each other
AMANAGER ADAPTS HIMSELF, LISTENS, COMMUNICATES AND MOTIVATES HIS PEOPLE!
The only constant for mananager is change! The only thing a damager does, is stay the same!
Module 1- Exercises & Questions:
Why are most Managers Damagers?
1. Are you presently a manager or a damager? __________
2. Do you care only for yourself or do you have someone else in mind in everything you do? __________________________
3. What do your colleges call you? ____________________
4. Do you have in influence on people or do people avoid you? ___________________________________________________
5. How would you reconcile differences between people?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
6. Can you negotiate and reach agreements with all types of people or are you set in only your ways and opinions? Explain.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
7. Do you respect all parties as being equals? What does equality mean to you? ___________________________________
8. Do people trust you? ____________________________
9. Are you able to really listen or do you just hear a lot of chatter? ______________________________________________
10. Are you able to communicate effectively? ___________
11. Do you have SMART goals towards people, i.e. are your goals specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and traceable?
Specific: _____________________________________________
Measurable: ___________________________________________
Attainable: ____________________________________________
Relevant: _____________________________________________
Traceable: ____________________________________________
12. Are you able to motivate people? _________________
Please read further tommorrow to assist you with your answers & reflections! PLEASE FORWARD ANY COMMENTS!)
In South Africa today security plays a vital part in any business or private home. This book and the volumes to follow, will guide you step by step through the essential precautionary measures to be taken in protecting your family and valuables. From employing security guards, evacuation of your site and security measures to burglar bars and alarms in your private home.
a Book compiled by me from experience gained after 10 years in the security industry as Industrial relations officer with Nosa qualifications, 1st Aid, fire protection and also S.O.B. grade A.
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